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Twilight by Swimmingferret Twilight by Swimmingferret
Edit for Twi-Tards who cannot read;





Moar Anti-Twilight stuff.

Seriously, read the book, and you would SO understand.

Okay, if you don't and you are one of those retard rabid fans, I'll explain.

Due to the whole screams and flames over Twilight all over the freakin' place and I mean, it is not limited to just dA, though we do get the "ZOMG, Edward is teh secks!" morons, I was curious enough to get the book out.

Yeah, big mistake. :iconsadtruthplz:

So, the book was like how the flamers, and others sick of hearing about it. It had a crappy plot, with lame holes and other crappy dialog, the girl character Bella, was such a freakin' Mary-Sue is wasn't even funny. Though the main blow came when Edward (the main vampire) walked into sunlight and sparkled. I shit you not. I mean, that Steph chick must of been mentally retarded to make vampires sparkle! Really! :roll: Silly dumb woman.

Oh, and the whole Edward and co,"'I wanna give up being a blood-luster, and try and love"

:iconbaawwplz: Get over it and act like real vampires you morons!

Bah, okay, the reason I am so pissed is that books, no matter how lame, give me a nice hobby, and all the like, and I enjoy it...But this one just sucked. as the stamp said, I feel like half of my brain died.

So WHY is the movie so popular!? :crying: It makes me sad....

If you DO like Twilight, don't be a troll. Just don't click. Mkay?

If you don't :lol: Well, by all means use ^^

Twilight is, thank God, not mine. If it was, I would of failed to be a good writer. :aww:

EDIT: Saw the movie. What a waste of money...Well, unless you are looking for a laugh XD Also, at the movies at least you don't have to read the shit literature of the book. AND at least Bella doesn't say her parents names all the time. Though she had such blank face all the time, it was no wonder that Eddie couldn't read her thoughts, 'cause she is brain dead.
Though it failed WAY more epically then the book when ol' Eddie stepped into the sun-light, saying "THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER" and then sparkled, accompanied by the sound of wind-chimes.
Yeah, fails with burnt cheese. Ugh.

EDITEDIT: 1k in views? Wtf people....Why not look at the rest of my stuff! Its better then this stamp...

3rd EDIT: Over300 favs....thats not even funny....

Forth Edit, damnit: Too many faves for me to thank personally :D But I do thank you!
Go see my other stuff, way better then this bit of crap.

Another edit, yay! Looks like ol' Meyer stole the Twilight idea! ---->[link]
What a lame bitch. So she's a thief as well as a crappy writer?

A more thought-worthy edit: I just realized that Twilight encourages young people to become suicidal if you end a relationship. As Bella tries to fling herself off a cliff as she 'hears' Edwards at the bottom of it. Too bad the dumb bitch didn't kill herself.

Another comment, 'cause I'm bored, and need to do stuff but can't be bothered: I love you guys :heart: Over 4k views, and over 600 faves! I wish I could hunt you all down and glomp ya :D

Bah: Twilight won an award for 'Best Fight Scene".
There wasn't even a fight in that movie!

Guess what: Edward hates the books as well. :D [link]


Time to promo shit:
Join mah group, :iconwonderfully-weird:!


Check this shit out: Some poor bastard died while watching Eclipse; [link]
I mean, I knew that all the movies were utter crap but...Poor guy, bet his brain hemorrhaged from angst overload.

Some moar stuff for my pretties: Look, here is a very angry email from a twilight fan, blasting The Wolfman film for giving werewolves a bad name. [link]

Epic shit:Loookeee! Another twilight movie! [link] But looks WAY more epic ;) Trust me.

Edit again

Remember kiddies! You can still hate twilight without looking as stupid as the twitards!

Oh mai, another edit?
Hey guys, check out this tumblr; [link] She's very good it picking out the sheer amount of fucked up grammar in these books. :)
Add a Comment:
ilovemyfavoritegames Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I... don't get it. I like Twilight, I don't see what's wrong with Twilight. I don't get it why people hate it.
Clarentinthia Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
People hate it because sets bad examples for young women and it slaps the faces of Vampire lovers everywhere. I read some of it, I don't like it because it came off as mere guilty pleasure writing for the author. The characters were bland and the setting itself didn't make any sense. There is no real tension between Bella and Edward, the only conflict is between them forced blood-lust and that bothers me.

But then you have the people who simply hate it because of how overblown and popular it became... And I can understand that. While Twilight isn't the worse thing ever, I don't believe it brings anything new to literature or even movies. Now because of twilight, we have an endless string of dumb Vampire shows trying to work off of Twilight's fame. That's annoying, I hate it when any movie or show does that.
ilovemyfavoritegames Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Okay, thanks for explaining.
Yoshiondiviantart Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
lol so true
art-is-awe-mazing Featured By Owner May 4, 2015
Why you all be hating like that!!!?!??!??! ( I know bad grammar but I loved the books although I tend to love most books, I hated Harry Potter and divergent I really do not know why I just do no judgement needed!)
Monkeyrofl901 Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2015
Only half your brain died?  Consider yourself lucky.  I've heard cases of people going totally brain dead from reading that book.
Finny-KunGoddess Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Only The Goblin King can Sparkle
Russia14hackBleach Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I so agree.
Username-91 Featured By Owner Edited Mar 4, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
:iconbitchpleaseplz: The movie is a total piece of shit, but the book, it's a total disaster. My brain explode after watching the first 10 min. scene, Dear God it's horrible. :facepalm: I went stupid while I was watching it. Dumbest thing I haven't seen in my entire life. Hollywood totally screwed up with this. The worse scene I forgot to mention is, when a guy who is turning into a werewolf confess that he was banging Bella's 6 months old baby, I didn't almost throw up on that, I jump off the sofa and went to bed to read a good comic book to wash my mind from watching that scene. Like it wasn't enough watching shitty sparkle vampires, they have to add a werewolf that is a pedophile and a pervert. :stare:
Piplii Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Edwards a peado too, he's 107 or some shit xD
Username-91 Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
:puke: The book, kill it with fire! :iconkillitwithfireplz:
Kittygirl7878 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015
It's called "The Sparkly Vampire".

Once there was a sparkly vampire.
He sparkled so much in the sun that everyone died.
The end.
Danoi Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2014
You said "I think half of my brain died":

..........Yet, you still managed to make an intricately crafted rant against Twihards, esp. those of a more level-headed ones.

SilverStarApple Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2014  Professional Writer
Even half of a good brain can still be better than those with none.
Danoi Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2015
Like how it works?
PeteysForest Featured By Owner Edited Aug 18, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well, I don't really hate either the book or the movies, but it certainly isn't a masterpiece...the book was obviously aimed towards adolescents with the love of romance and fantasy...even if the fantasy can be a little disturbing or annoying for some people. I don't think it deserves as much hate as it gets, though. It's just a story lol
JuRom Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yes I saw the first and the last movie on a sleepover. I really wanted to destroy the TV e.e I'm definitly not going to read the books.
president-m-blue Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Not being a hater or anything but in the movie even Robert pattinson, the guy who played Edward, said if he weren't playing Edward he'd hate twilight with a passion shifty eyes  I mean come on! That's gotta be one bad movie!
randomemaster360 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Man, that thing is just an insult to vampires and werewolves from all over the world. And I can't believe my mother has every single one of those books !
s-p-r-i-n-k-l-e-z Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014  Student General Artist
And a bit of the side that's left over died a little too, of oxygen loss....

PrincesssLuna Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Crisostomo-Ibarra Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Good thing I never read Twilight.
Ninten2401 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014
Oh, it's more than half.
BillieJoeArmstrong4 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
poor you :( now what can you do without that half of brain? TWILIGHT SUUUUUUUCKS!!!!!!!!!!
GoddessofDrama12 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014
I look back and wonder: "Why the hell did I like Twilight in the first place?"
GoddessofDrama12 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014
I died when I read that Tumblr thing: the one that really got me was: 'I felt blood flood my face. Tear-tears of rage- filled my ear. Responds to that: I don't know about you, but a fountain of blood pouring from Bella's eye sockets horrifies me way more than a vampire glittering in the sunlight. I'm still laughing XD.
ex-cirkuu Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2014
Not the usual person to fave Anti-Twilight stuff, but it reminded me of when my younger sister, an avid reader of books in general, decided to read it with me. One of us almost fell asleep while the other got a headache from it.

While I'm not a big fan of vampires in general, nothing made me snark more about them than Twilight's sparkly bloodsucking golems.
Dream-And-Believe Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Please. Half of my soul died. Just looking at the cover.
jerukmasamanis Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2014  Hobbyist
I don't read it, I watch its movie. And it totally sucks. D:
CheeseyBee1 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I read twilight...worst decision ever made and that's saying something
What pisses me off most is that Bella is worthless, so much for girl power, she is dead weight and when she does something she stuffs it up and she is pathetic when she doesn't have Edward. Seriously, when he left her she jumped of a bloody cliff. I want to smack her on the back of the head.
Also, vampires are meant to be demons who drink blood, turn to dust in sunlight and strike fear in your heart not stupid lovestruck vampires who drink animal blood and sparkle like a fairy in sunlight. The only nice vampire who drinks  animal blood and is immune to sunlight is Simon from The Mortal Instruments but his immunity makes sense and he is one of a kind.
VisionSerpent89 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
"I would of failed to be a good writer"

You just did... :o (Eek) 

(*would have/would've)
VisionSerpent89 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That's unfortunate, as the other half of your brain must have already died for you to have chosen to read it in the first place...
XXBetter-In-StereoXX Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
((Ugh, my Uncle recently bought me two of the books, and I didn't wanna be mean so I had to read them since he lives with us..*shudders* then I had to lie and say I 
"l-l-l-loved them!" oh dear lord why?...))
Laraaqua0 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013
Wait till you read Fifty Shades of Grey.
derse-dreamers Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013
dude i read the entire fucking book and i was crying
Big-K-2011 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Heh, vampires sparkle in sunlight. Everybody knows that vampires sparkle when they either make over the top gay poses or is a human turning into one via Mayan mask or just a regular human doing over the top poses for badass points.
AlcrdLover7 Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013
The closest I ever got to reading Twilight was the Sporking of all the books on Das Mervin. Even though I enjoy reading her ranting and raving at how horrible Twilight is, I still want to reach into the book and punch Bella, Edward, and Jacob in the face.
midnight-willow2013 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013
Love this stamp! I wondered what happened to me when I read it when I was younger...this explains all... just glad that I read bram stoker's dracula before twilight caused more brain damage...
NoteSpellingOf Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I have to admit, when I read twilight the first time, it amused me, but in a fluffy-romance way, not a plot filled one, but it took me a long time to get around to reading it (the threat of being mobbed by the fans at my school for actually DARING to carry THAT book) and I NEVER plan to watch the movie. all in all, amusing book, but plot-less. 
leanne1973 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2013
If you think Twilight is bad, you should not read The Hunger Games....
WalkingDeadFanatic Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I know right? lol
GoddessofDrama12 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014
I could not get into that series, then I found out that Stephanie Meyers liked it and I was like, "She cursed it! DX" XD
aily4869 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013
I like twilight. Except for the romance parts and stuff. To tell you the truth, on the first pages am like "UGGGHHH BORRRRINNNG" But then I told myself "C'Mon. Remember that when you first read your favorite book, it was boring at first, but then it got juicy." And I ended up liking it. What ruined Twilight it's that Bella doesn't do almost anything (Except for when she saved Edward from commiting Suicide. Then again, it was her fault, so she had to do it.) the "Team Edward x Team Jacob" thingy, and the movies, along with the fact that Bella almost never smiles. And hey, at least when a character never smiles, someone says something about it.

But what I hate the most is people going like "OMG TWILIGHT IZ SOOOOO GOOD TEAM EDWARD!!!!" or "EEEEEWWWW YOU REAAAD TWILLLIGHT THATS SOOOOOO STUPID HOW COULD YOU LIKE IT!!!". Once a girl that read YAOI HENTAI herself said "Ewww Twilight is SOOO GAYYYYY" I facepalmed so hard that day.

Even people with Gay best friends say that.

VampiraFang1 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
then I watched the movie and my other half of my brain died
GoddessofDrama12 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014
XD I can' guys are killing me lmao
ShizukaxxxSecret Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013  Hobbyist
Lol, good one.
hotdawg12 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You know a popular series is overrated when the hate outnumbers the love :rofl:
CheshireCat606 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
When Twilight first came out, I simply refused to read it, after I saw all the attention it got. A couple years later, I did end up reading, and I actually thought it wasn't that bad. But then, as soon as the movies came out, the little like I had for the series vanished. I hate both these movies and books, and it's ridiculous how many people like it....
LeEpicCupcake Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Student Digital Artist
:iconbitchpleaseplz: My brain exploded when i readed twilight it was horribleeee
Minecraft-Skellyboo Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I have to admit the book was better than the movie. Well, only the half when Bella's not whining all the time.
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